Too soon, too late: Understanding teenage relationship abuse through listening to young people’s voices
By Polina Obolenskaya and Annie Bunce, VISION Research Fellows
There is a growing recognition that children and young people experience harm in their romantic relationships, which often starts before they are 16 years old. Being on the cusp of adulthood makes teenage relationship abuse hard to spot, for both young people themselves and those who come in contact with them. While there have been some exemplary studies with young people in this area (e.g. by Barter et al. 2009; SafeLives), more research dedicated specifically to those under 16 is needed.
Therefore, we partnered with charity SafeLives and their network of young people who share a passion to end domestic abuse and tackle the social challenges facing today’s youth – the “Changemakers” – to run a consultation workshop with young people aged 18-25 who had experienced harm in intimate relationships when they were aged between 13 and 16.
The three overarching aims of this project were to gather young people’s perspectives on:
- The issues around providing effective support to young people with experience of abuse in romantic relationships, including its recognition, the complexities of help-seeking, and the adequacy of professional responses;
- The priorities for future research on teenage relationship abuse; and
- The appropriate methodological approaches for involving young people in this sort of research.
Our partnership with SafeLives and the Changemakers was at the heart of this project, they were instrumental in shaping the direction of the research from the beginning. We co-produced materials, the Changemakers facilitated the consultation workshop, we co-analysed some of the data, and their views informed how the findings were interpreted and written up. Having young people’s perspective challenged some of our assumptions and understanding, both of the topic and the research process itself. We worked collaboratively on a number of outputs, including an academic paper, a short report, an infographic, and presentations to a wide variety of audiences.
Below is a summary of some of our main findings from the project.
Harmful relationships are often difficult for young people to recognise
Young people told us that they thought it was difficult for those aged 13-16 to recognise harmful behaviours in teenage relationships. This is because these behaviours often become normalised- through peer groups, social media, popular culture and, for some, experiences of domestic abuse at home. Additionally, we heard that while young people might have recognised some behaviours as unhealthy at the time, they struggled to see the broader pattern or label it as abuse.
Professionals also struggle to identify harm in teenage relationships and their responses are inconsistent
Our participants described a range of experiences with various professionals, with the takeaway message being that responses to teenage relationship abuse are inconsistent. Some young people described teachers, police officers and support workers as people who listened carefully, took concerns seriously and made them feel supported. But at the same time, they had also encountered responses that felt dismissive or minimising, or they did not feel confident about approaching some professionals who might be able to help (e.g. teachers).
We found that the language used by the professionals was a barrier to identification of harm experienced by young people in their relationships, as well as its disclosure. Young people told us that when professionals use language and terms that they cannot relate to, it is harder for them to identify what is happening to them as abuse and/or it can discourage them from seeking help. We also heard that age-related stereotypes and a lack of awareness and understanding around abusive behaviours within teenage relationships further contribute to dismissive attitudes, with professionals attributing minimising labels, such as “teenage drama” to harmful behaviours.
Young people want earlier intervention
Participants stressed the importance of earlier identification and intervention to address abuse in teenage relationships, particularly advocating for proactive efforts by teachers and schools. They also thought that changes in attendance, behaviour, or well-being should prompt teachers to investigate potential underlying issues. In fact, this inspired the project name, Too Soon, Too Late, which was developed by one of the Changemakers. The title reflects the experiences of teenagers who may struggle to access support at the point they really need it.
Our participants also acknowledged that the signs of abuse might be really difficult to spot. For example, they described how achieving good grades and appearing confident on the surface while struggling with significant difficulties in their relationships or home environment- what they referred to as the ‘good student’ stereotype- might lead teachers to assume they were OK.
Young people also told us how they think research could be done better
Participants described participating in research as potentially empowering and healing – being able to speak with others who had similar experiences helped some realise they were not alone. While our participants found participating in research rewarding in itself, they agreed that being renumerated is important, not only because it removes financial barriers but because it demonstrates that young people’s time and expertise are truly valued.
Young people told us that to ensure a more inclusive and intersectional understanding of teenage relationship abuse researchers need to actively engage a diverse range of participants, including those from marginalised communities, of different sexual orientations and gender identities, but also individuals who do not fit common stereotypes of victims-survivors of abuse and those without direct experience of abuse. They argued that researchers should proactively invite participation, via multiple streams, rather than relying on young people to seek out opportunities themselves.
Young people emphasised the importance of creating research environments that are safe, flexible and inclusive. They told us that they wanted a choice of different ways to participate, to receive clear communication and set realistic expectations, and to have opportunities to contribute to research after discussions had ended and they had had time to reflect on them. Language was again paramount here. Young people told us that for rapport to be built, for them to feel heard, and to enhance the overall quality of research, researchers need to speak to young people using their own language.
Another key message was that participation should not end at the end of data collection. Young people wanted to know how their contributions were being used and in what ways their involvement was making a difference. Being thanked, updated and shown the outcomes of research helped them feel like they had been part of something meaningful.
Conclusion
One of the strongest messages from this project is that to better understand young people’s experiences and help them, researchers and other professionals need to keep their eyes and ears to the ground and intervene early, provide a safe and inclusive environment for young people to share their stories, really listen to them and respond in their language, and take their experiences seriously.
For further information: contact Polina at polina.obolenskaya@citystgeorges.ac.uk
Photograph from Adobe Stock subscription
